when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
