hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize