so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
