i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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