Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
