yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
ttyl tear gas
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
