She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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