Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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