Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
