Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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