ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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