Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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