My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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