I molested 6 butterflies tonight
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she pinky promised me she was 18
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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