I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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