can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
