My nipple is on Facebook.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
