Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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