Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
