that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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