Please don't use social media to get back at me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
