i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
