We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize