ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
