Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
