Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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