hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i barfeds in our rink
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
