Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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