Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
