When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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