1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
