he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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