I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
