He is an equal opportunity slut.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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