Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
