No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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