Someone shit on the floor
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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