Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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