PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
