Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
