she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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