I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
