oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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