We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I think my moral compass just broke
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