I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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