dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
