I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
