I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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