I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
