i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize