I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
