wanna go halves on a baby?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
