"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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