So drunk its hurt
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
