Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just high enough for therapy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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