He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
