i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
