I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
