dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
