Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
