Apparently you make a good broom.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize