Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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